Just about every talented songwriter and musician that I’ve ever encountered has always had the same problem. They’re amazing at their craft, but when it comes to relationships, they’re absolutely terrible. I myself am included in this group of creatives.
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My name is Abby Weitz and I am the songwriter for my band, Wise Girl. I’ve been obsessed with songs and melodies since I was a kid, and I get really emotional when I hear a beautiful melody or a song that just blows me away. Sometimes it even affects me so intensely, that I get chills and a wave of nausea rises over me. Normal, right?
All of my life I have been known by all of my friends as the “serial dater”. At every get together, we’d chat about what was going on in our lives and I’d always have some insanely dramatic story about some crazy guy that I’d just broken up with, while all of my friends would chime in “This would only happen to you, Abby!” I’m not going to go into detail because this blog would never end.
Considering all of the experiences I’d been through, (some hilarious, some life threatening and/or traumatic), I’d always channel my feelings and emotions towards these experiences directly into my songwriting. The writing process was usually an emotional ricochet, with me slamming my feelings into a notebook while strumming some chords on guitar and those feelings flying back and slapping me in the face mid-song creation. When it got to be too much, sometimes I’d get up and pace around the room or sometimes I’d leave the song, go for a run and come back to it days, weeks, months or years later to finish it. This has typically been my songwriting process (with some exceptions) for the past 10 years.
But this past winter something changed. I met a kind, gentle, amazing person and was actually happy in a relationship for the first time in my 20-something years of existence (a lady never tells). The beginning was a little rocky for me as I was so used to being involved with irrational people who didn’t know what taking things slow meant. I was practically smothered in every relationship in my past and in my crazy, not so little head, that was normal to me. This was a brand new experience for me. I had to learn patience, consideration, how to “not curse out your significant other” when they piss you off and much more. All of these learning experiences made me really think about the past and wonder “WHAT THE F&$% WAS I DOING”? I also realize that I needed to figure out a new writing process, because not being miserable all of the time started causing me some severe writer’s block.
I have never been much of a of “happy song” kind of writer, except when co-writing with other artists for their projects. I find it a lot easier to write the “cheese real hard” kind of songs when it’s someone else who’s going to be recording or performing them, because I don’t feel comfortable performing them, or maybe I’m just afraid of sounding cheesy.
I was recently writing a love song with my girl J. Antonette, and she said to me, “how do you feel when you’re around him?” and I got really nervous and anxious. I was so used to being the one asking that question to other co-writers that I was writing with, for their own projects and now for the first time, it was me! GROSS! Eventually with some mega brainstorming and me really trying hard to just let go of the fear of sounding corny, we came out with a really amazing song.
Co-writing has really been helping me get through my writer’s block tremendously and it’s also inspiring, especially when you’re writing with really talented people. I tend to get a little competitive when someone else is in the room, so that drives me even harder than if I were writing on my own. The finished product is probably 20 times better than it would have been, had I been by myself, doubting every word from pen to paper.
There’s always tough situations in life, so my emotional breakdown writing style is still intact, but I’m starting to realize that’s not all that I am capable of. My writer’s block has started fading, slowly but surely.
